Butterflies

I'm tired and I can not sleep. I sleep on my left side and it hurts, I sleep on my right side and it hurts. When I get comfy my mouth suddenly dries up like the sahara desert so I move on to have a drink and then shit i'm back to square one. Basically soz holl but you aren't sleeping tonight or this morning or whatever. Its surprising how much crying, Jane the Virgin (my new fave on netflix btdubz) and codeine you can fit into one night (that was a joke only every four hours I know). And since I cannot blue peter style a here's one I wrote earlier there is no time better than the present to write a blog post.

So before every gland in my neck decided to swell up nicely :) :) :) I did some things. Some cute things, and had some cute feelings to document on the blog so here we go. 

]

The boyf and I took a trip into Stratford on good Friday to go to the butterfly farm, this is something I used to do all the time when I was a kid so I was mega excited. The butterflies were cute and one sat on josh's shoulder and just wouldn't move. There was also a really cool ants nest (is it a nest?) and I was fascinated watching the ants carrying leaves, if not a little creeped out though. 

I've also been developing a new kind of butterflies. A silent butterfly that instead of fluttering around in my stomach just sits and glows. Probably thinking of double cheeseburgers or ooooo I could polish off more than one maccies hash brown rn. Anywho yes i've got a glowing butterfly in my stomach and at first I thought it was just love (aw yh i know it gets more sickly) but i've changed my mind now. I've named this little butterfly appreciation. 

I don't know if thats exactly what this warm glow is, maybe i'm wrong, wouldn't be the first time but it will do for now. Is it weird to appreciate someone's presence in your life? Like just having them sat accross from you whilst you're eating, and appreciating their efforts. Just spooning and having your hair stroked after polishing off more than a spoon ful of Ben&Jerries. Someone who's texts leave you feeling content no matter how dull because they take their time to message you. 

I just kinda look at Josh sometimes and think about how sad I would be without him, and whaddya know the butterflies making a visit again. 

Ah that's got to be it for today because its time to stop rambling and call my doctors, or ya know just lie in bed all day till I eventually fall asleep. Maybe even do some revision.. Yeah.. Haha...

B. Makeup Brush Cleanser: Review

After a trip to Superdrug, I nearly purchased the Real Techniques brush cleanser, as I am in love with their brushes and they need the best care! However I stumbled across the B. Makeup Brush Cleanser which was only £3 (less than half the price) and decided that I would try it out. Then make up the difference buying a new powder...

It's a conditioning cleanser that disinfects and cleans brushes, It's a gentle formulae that can be used on natural and synthetic brushes and is gentle enough for everyday use, and is antibacterial. I didn't have amazing hopes to be honest but if you look at the before picture you'll know that they were in dire need of a wash. It comes in a spray bottle, and its recommended that you use 3/4 sprays and then wipe on a tissue, so not a deep cleanser.

I started with my rose gold brush which is disgusting, and I will let you in on a secret. I actually did this without taking photos but was so impressed I left it a few weeks before doing it again for the blog! P.s. should I start using my camera for photos, these grainy iPhone pictures just aren't that great.

I sprayed, cleaned it on a tissue. Then repeated a couple more times. It is amazing. The brush cleaned up so quickly! I use it for bronzer so the fact the bristles are white again is amazing! I would 10% recommend this for people who like to regularly clean their brushes and keep them nice and pretty. However it isn't a deep enough cleanser for everything, I attempted to clean up my foundation brush and it didn't really make a dent in the deep rooted foundation in the bristles. Gross I know. I will pick up the Real Techniques cleanser at some point to tackle my foundation brushes but until then I will definitely keep using it! Cheap and effective. Who could resist?

Available here or from Superdrug stores.

The amazing results!

Have you tried this cleanser, or have any other favourites? Let me know in the comments!

No sun, some sand.. Where I've Been?

Where have I been? For a whole damn month? I wish I could say I was too busy revising, that I have had to concentrate on college or work or ya know, something the slightest productive. But no. Apart from a week in Spain I have just been using my spare time to sleep. I am just as ashamed as you guys, I know its bad.

But I am back! Exams are creeping up and I am more then a little stressed out with both college and uni at the moment (I haven't even got there yet and I am sick of it) so posts may be sporadic may end up being a month apart but I will try my hardest to get some up.

So... Spain! Whilst looking back it wasn't that awful, it definitely wasn't good, but it could've been worse. I don't know if I hated it that much, or if I hated the fact I had spent so much money for an average week.

Why was it so bad? I don't really know. The weather wasn't great, just cold and extremely windy. The food wasn't great, as we were all inclusive we basically ate the same thing every meal. The atmosphere wasn't great because everyone was old and Spanish which whilst possibly entertaining... Just wasn't what I was looking for.

The alcohol was plentiful but my favourite night was when we sat out on the balcony getting drunk off of 1 euro bottles of wine, of which we went through about 4. Playing cards and 'don't show Keith your teeth' wrapped up in what we labelled as 'itchy blankets' that the hotel left in the wardrobe.

Fair to say it wasn't the worst week of my life, the same week back in Birmingham and £600 cheaper and I would be over the moon! What I will say is that I finally quenched my first for a nice Mojito. Cocktails just don't taste the same when not drunk on a beach bar. Which actually leads to a funny story, for another day...

The moral of the story: don't book a holiday out of season.

Got any holiday stories? I want to hear the good the bad and the ugly, leave them in the comments!

A Girl's Guide to Roma!

When we first planned our trip to Rome we planned all the normal things, trips to the Colosseum, to the Vatican but while walking the cobblestone streets I realised there is so much more to the eternal city! Here are the top 4 things about this Italian experience. 

1.       The Carbs.

There is nothing the Romans do better than pasta. Pasta in creamy milk sauces with chicken hiding underneath layers of parmesan. Or pasta with a rich tomato sauce and little bits of crispy bacon surprising you every now and then (also covered in parmesan whoops). The choices of pasta can be overwhelming when an Italian waiter asks you if you would prefer the fettuccine, linguine or rigatoni, just take a guess the truth is they all taste better than the spaghetti that you overcooked back home. I wish I could say I tried the pizza, or the fish which seems to be quite popular, but my love affair with the pasta in the city got in the way. All I can say is that you might need to go up a jean size when you get home...When dining in Rome its always best done outside, I have never before enjoyed the experience of eating dinner outside in winter, but pick a seat outside a nice restaurant and you’ll be greeted with candles, flowers and fresh air. Of course there were also patio heaters. It is January afterall.

2.       Gelato.

Keeping on the food trend, what I must admit is the pasta is not the only thing that is mouth watering in Roma. Despite the cool evenings and mornings the afternoons in Rome were sunny and that called for gelato! A walk around Piazza Navona in the sun with a carboard cup holding a heavenly desert. No one could resist. Every other shop was an ice cream shop, they were everywhere and I was grateful! The first night it actually ended up raining as we retreated back to the hotel, but I couldn’t resist. I had ice cream anyway and then every day after that. I tried mango, summer fruits, cherry, cheesecake, Oreo, Kinder. Every flavour is delicious and will leave you wanting more, and more. One shop even sold Viagra gelato, that one was not really my cup of tea though!

3.       Sights.

There is always something interesting to do/see in Rome. Tours to the Vatican and the Colosseum may be long but they are definitely interesting! The Vatican museums hold brilliant white marble sculptures, and we found out that they were actually all painted it had just worn off over time! Large tapestries that hold the stories of Moses and Jesus, and maps of Rome perfect in proportion yet made before the time of helicopters and drones. The stories behind the intricate paintings inside the Sistine chapel and the pope that had himself painted as Peter to boost his ago is enough to keep anyone entertained, and the best part is the end when you reach St Peter’s Basilica. It took 120 years to be rebuilt into what it is today. Everything is so grand and holds so much detail it is hard to not be amazed. I would advise to go during mass as well as that adds to the experience. Hearing the hyms that are being sung resonate around the whole of the basilica is peaceful and leaves you feeling truly touched. The colosseum is also a great visit, and be sure to get a pass to the underground dungeons! Learn about the shows that the emperors would put on, how the women had to sit at the very top away from the alluring gladiators and that actually the darker corners of the inside of the colosseum may well have just been called brothels. Who said history couldn’t be interesting? There’s the Castle St Angelo which has the most perfect views the higher you climb with little tables that offer you the chance to dine and look out over central Rome. Then there is the pantheon, the Spanish steps (which were unfortunately closed the whole time we were there and the Trevi Fountain all a few minutes from each other. While you are in Rome you can’t deny the chance to throw a coin into the Trevi, it ensures your return to the beautiful city. I never thought something like the Trevi Fountain could blow me away. The Sistine chapel, maybe. The pantheon, maybe. Well nothing left me lost for words like the Trevi fountain did. Don’t underestimate its size, or its beauty. Fun fact it is the end point of an ancient Roman aquaduct! The best time to visit is the early hours of the morning after one too many glasses of Rose, but don’t get your hopes up about going paddling because its closely guarded by the polizia at all times.

4.       The Beauty

Visiting the sites of the city can be amazing, but once you’ve been there done that it can seem pointless to return but the beauty of the city will keep you returning. The cobblestones may start to hurt your feet after hours of walking but the little shops and restaurants decorated with fairylights (and surprisingly a lot of Christmas lights still) make it worth it. The Piazza Navona with its four beautiful fountains and multiple painters with breathtaking watercolour paintings of the flowers hanging from balconies and the light coloured stones of the buildings that compliment the carefree happy feeling in the air when you take a walk in the afternoon sun will keep you inspired. Keep you delighted. Keep you coming back.

It's been a while since I've been back from Rome and a while since I have planned to write this post, but here it is finally! Hope you enjoy it!

When payday can't come quick enough...

wishlist

It's been a pretty bad week, and I just want to do some internet shopping. The only thing on my wishlist is a new bikini and pair of sandals in preparation for my trip to Spain in two weeks time but even that can't make me happy right now because... Well, because I just realised exactly how much I ate over Christmas and I really am not in the mood for bikinis. So instead I am burying my head in the sand, crying at non-emotional parts of don't tell the bride and dreaming of makeup and supporting other bloggers. Here's what I am really lusting after right now..

1. Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua Foundation in Beige

I first had my eye on this foundation maybe 2 years ago, when Fleur de Force a blogger/vlogger mentioned it in quite a few of her videos along with the other Lumiere foundations. I found this at a chanel counter in Sephora (heaven) in Rome and now I have my eye on it again and its only £32 which is a lot less then I originally thought which makes me want it even more. Compared to my £10 Loreal foundation it seems a bit excessive but I just haaaave to try it.

2. Nars lipstick in Vera

This is something I have heart eyes for after also spotting it in Sephora and although £24 is a hefty price for a lipstick, something I wouldn't use very often but the colour is so beautiful! A girl can dream.

3. Anna Saccone Zodiac Collection in Gold

I love Anna, I love her family, her kids, and her vlogs. When I heard she was bringing out a necklace collection I was so excited. I have not yet got around to getting one, but I saw Abbie's necklace the other day and I am extremely jealous. This is something that is at the very top of my list, the price tag puts me off slightly, but I know it will be worth it. There is also some amazingly cute packaging for Valentines day orders!

4. Hey June January Birthstone Bracelet

I say January even though my birth month is July because the stone is a lot prettier. This jewellery line comes from another wonderful blogger I love, Life of Bon. A cute dainty 14k gold bracelet named after her cute new family addition June. The January stone is a garnet stone and a gorgeous deep red.

5. Sorry I'm Late I'd Rather Be At Home t-shirt

Another blogger? Yeah I know, but they make cool stuff! I can't help myself. This is part of Daily Tay's Talk Herbie To Me line and if I could have all of it I would just to steal some of her sarcastic wit and lock it into a t-shirt. A t-shirt that's cosy af and would be great to wear to college!

Right now I have obsessed over things I can't buy yet, I have an essay to write. Dreams only last for so long!

Let me know what you've been lusting after, you can never have too long a wishlist!

There's no place like home.

Flying high to our connection in Zurich!

As I sat on the steps of the Trevi fountain amongst a crowd of other excited tourists (an unwelcome change to when we drunkenly stumbled upon it empty minus the polizia in the early hours of the previous morning) I thought of home. Part of me itching to be back in my own bed enjoying food I am more fond of, the other dreaming of an extended stay wondering the streets of central Rome enjoying the evenings I had took pleasure from the nights before. The sky was a pure blue, no clouds in sight. The gold writing glistened in the sun and my sunglasses were greatful to be released from there case for the first time in months. Josh sat beside me also enjoying the view, looking handsome as ever. The remains of cherry gelato (another favourite of mine) melting in a small paper cup sat in between us. I couldn't help but ask myself why anyone would want this to end?

Oh how I would discover that I in fact would rather be in Birmingham than spend another minute in a foreign country when the option of being home that night disappeared. Do we always want what we can't have? 

A few hours later the fountain had been swapped for a check in line. It was officially home time, we checked in quickly whizzed through security, that was however after I had been stopped and drug swatched because I left my coke bottle in my bag (the cola kind). Have you ever been stopped in an airport? Had your bags taken to be checked by someone and a small tab wiped over your hands and shoes? I swear one look at me and you would have thought I had something to hide, even I started to doubt myself and pictured myself going to prison. Part of me chanting "shit shit shit" in my head the other saying "how irrational they can't find anything because there is nothing" then I heard "that's fine thank you" and snapped out of my anxious over reaction and literally had to laugh at my idiot self. Never the less security didn't take long and we took a short walk around the airport (searched ten minutes for a magazine in English then nearly bought the new cosmo till I saw it was €11!)  boarded our plane and waited. And waited. Till the pilot announced they were still doing checks on the right engine. Then we waited, and waited, and then were told that we would have to leave the aircraft. 

Have you ever been in an airport dying to know if you're going home tonight, mobbed by other passengers all wanting to know the same thing. Three or four different languages flying about, people talking over each other and a poor airline worker in the middle of it all. It's hell. 

Eventually we found out that the flight to Brussels will continue just later than planned which is great! Unless you have a connecting flight, which as always its us with the awkward situations. 

So we waited, and were told to collect our luggage at carousel ten and hurried down there. 

Then we waited for another twenty minutes till the luggage started to come round. 

Then we waited in line for no joke a good hour and a half waiting and waiting for any information we could get our hands on. 

What we discovered when waiting was that there was in fact a direct flight to Birmingham but with Monarch, which as it is not a partner airline for we would have to buy a ticket. So to get back to Birmingham that night would mean buying a ticket. Not like we had already bought two or anything...

Then we waited, and we waited and we waited. Get my point? Eventually we did get new flights and by 11 o'clock were in a hotel eating dinner (on the airline btdubz) then we flew out at 12pm the next day.

In hindsight I can understand it, I don't want to get on a plane that doesn't work as much as the next person, but standing in lines for a good four hours was not the highlight of my trip!

To read the highlights of our trip watch out for future posts! Leave me a comment to let me know if you've ever ended up in a situation like this, would love to know i'm not alone.  

To my 14 year old self,

Oh how I wish I could time travel, how I wish I could go back to the nights you would spend crying and wishing for things that in time will come. Don’t take for granted the people in your life who truly care for you, your mom really does love you and it’ll take a few years a broken heart and more than a few conversations for you to realise that. For now though, cherish the person who is there because soon enough they’ll leave. Not completely, they will always be a phone call away, but those pep talks will end. Just don’t ever let go of that bond.

Stop trying to beat your sister. You are not her. She loves you, so stop screaming at each other, stop taking her clothes without asking and stop hating on her in your head. No one expects you to be her as much as you think they do, and they believe you are just as smart and will be just a independent in your own way. She’ll never show you just how much she loves you, but you’ll come to appreciate the little gestures as you grow up that show she cares. So only put your head in that textbook for you, you’ll be disappointed when those ‘big exams’ come around but you shouldn’t be, you did well accept the praise.

Friends, and I mean real friends will come. You’ll find someone in a year or two who becomes such an important friend for you, you’ll even fight your way into their life. Don’t take no for an answer, she will be the weirdest and greatest friend you will have. You will hurt for her, you will cry for her and she will be there for you for the next few years and maybe even longer. Stop making yourself miserable and ditch the bitches, you don’t need it.

Make the most of the “memories” with that unconditional friendship you have grown up confident that it will never fade, I wish I could say you won’t grow apart but that’s not necessarily true. People do grow up, but don’t let it go completely.

Stop listening to that Coldplay song, and you know what I mean you weirdo. Only turn those Christmas lights on if you’re going to smile.

You are beautiful, and it took yourself too long to realise it. You’ll still doubt it in years to come but never stop saying it, no matter how much you don’t believe it. Your goal of being skinny by the time your sixteen, it’s not going to happen. You’ll forge an inseparable bond with double cheeseburgers I’m afraid. Yet when you go to prom you’ll look stunning believe me. Also boys don’t hate you because you’re fat.

Leave your bedroom, wear that dress. There's nothing you'll regret more than the times you refused to go somewhere because you hated how (and you weren't by the way) ugly you are. You'll wonder why you cried so much over dresses and skirts that weren't enough to make you look beautiful, because you always were.

Boys. Oh my god if only I could slap you for every time you thought you would never be cuddled by a boy. All the way up to sixteen. Yes you will eventually kiss a boy don’t you worry. Yes boys will eventually take interest in you. Maybe the ones you grew up with just never saw you that way and never will, but you’ll find a whole new sea of male specimen but go easy on it. Be aware of the older boys, be careful with your dignity and your heart. But no regrets.

You will find love and it will be everything you thought it would be and worse, it will come to you in the most unexpected way and will overwhelm you. Just once that night you got drunk and took advantage of this new found interest from boys will work out for you, and don’t doubt yourself it’s not a joke. A boy will actually ask you out on a date, and trust me they’re quite a catch. Just remember in the future that your mom just wants the best for you, give up on the rebellion.

You will be happy, your days of sadness are numbered. New friends will bring you out of that rut, and they will make you happy.

You’ll meet a boy who will give you butterflies, and you will experience a broken heart but it’ll mend quicker than you think. Arguments are not the end of the world, or a relationship.

Most importantly one day you will find true friendships, cute boys who (i’m not joking) do want to kiss you and you will realise that you are gorgeous and that it is so important to believe that even during the times when you don’t want to.

Look forward to the future, you’ll look back and realise that you really had no clue about all the possibilities the world held, yes. Even for you.

This post has been sitting in my drafts for ages, and since the posts about Rome are taking longer to write I thought I would upload this in the mean time!