The L Word

Just playing about with candles in Asda

I have a few posts running around in my mind right now, all are stories or musings involving Josh and eventually I gave up on something different and just decided to write all I wanted to whether it was mushy or funny or boring because this is my blog and he's my boyfriend so I say I can. *Disclaimer: post may or may not make you heave. I haven't decided how much mush is going in yet.*

It was the 13th of March I think (I googled it, i'm not super super obsessed.. I promise) Josh and I had made plans to go out for food that night, and he palmed me off the night before because all of a sudden he had managed to get a ticket for Cheltenam horse races and was having a lads day. Not only did I not get many (sober) texts that day, but Josh also made me call his friends phone which is a nightmare because they were all drunk and rowdy and he had not planned how he was getting home which he told me when he got off the minibus back to whereabouts I live (preplanned?). He had been drinking since probably 9 am that morning and had found himself back in the pub already. Basically he wanted to come to mine because he could get a lift (hmm) and not have to pay £30 for a taxi. I agreed.

He finally gets to mine and its 11pm, dropped off by his mates girlfriend who he tricked into dropping him off cheeky bugger although she does only live a few minutes away from me. He comes up stairs and kneels on the floor beside my bed looking all daydreamy (his expression not his appearance) and he tells me about his day. He won't get into bed because he wants to go downstairs and smoke (dirty habit which he has recently quit) before he does.

So he's kneeling next to my bed and holding my hands rambling and repeating himself about all the beer he drunk *Disclaimer 2: Whilst he may not always drink responsibly he is old enough* and all the shouting and betting he did. Right now he sounds like a right bloody catch, and its gets better. When he casually says that they also ended up in a strip club. There go my walls, straight up. An eyebrow raise. Crossed arms. He nearly ended up sleeping on the floor. He continued with but I didn't do anything, I only went in because everyone else did.

"If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you Joshua?"

Yeah I was that person. We had probably only been "official" for about four months, and this is the first time he was telling me something like this and I got a bit pissy. In the end I just said yeah okay whatever and changed the subject, because he was drunk and I couldn't be bothered getting into all that and I feel like if he did do anything he was that drunk he would have ended up telling me anyway.

The rambling carried on and then we went downstairs, and came back up and Josh was finally ready to jump into bed. You know what boys are like when they're drunk, I knew why Josh didn't get a taxi home. But surprisingly we just cuddled whilst Josh continued to talk and talk and talk.

I don't have a TV in my room and we normally watch a film on the iPad. but I was enjoying just listening to him talk too much.

Then it happened.

I still remember it quite well seven or so months later. Josh had his arm around me and we were lying down in bed and I was facing him and he said "I want to tell you something, but i can't because i'm drunk". And you never say that to me. Straight away i'm itching to know, and annoying him.

"Tell me, tell me. Josh! Tell me!"

He said something like I don't want to say it in case you think i don't mean it because i've been drinking, but i've wanted to say it for awhile I just didn't know what the right time would be. And I pushed it more, I knew what was coming. I had a pretty good idea of what he was going to say and that I felt the same way.

There had been too many times when we would be laughing or talking for ages and we would both just stop and a short burst of eye contact with big grins gave me butterflies and a squeeze in my heart like the way it did when he put his hand on my leg in the car and would squeeze it just reminding me he's there. Or when he would text me saying good morning gorgeous or how's your day babe. The same skipped heart beat I felt when I saw him after a long week and he would be at my door smelling like Paco Roban (which quickly became my favourite smell) and a big grin found its way on my face.

After a while I dropped it, and we just cuddled in silence. Then very quietly he said and his voice even cracked halfway through, either from nerves or just because he throat had dried up in the silence.

"I love you"

SO there you go, the story of the night my boyfriend told me he loved me. Whilst drunk. After telling me he had  been to a strip club. He's a keeper. No, honestly he is, i'm stopping it here because no one needs a cringy reply from me. I did say it back though, and at least one of us was sober.

I would love to hear, if your L word experiences have been romantic? Weird? Leave a comment!

I only went in for deodorant.

I am in dire need of some new deodorant, so I popped in to Sainsbury's and came out half an hour later and £30 poorer. Umm, how? I don't know to be honest, I did get deodorant so at least I didn't come out without that I guess. While I was wondering that section of Sainsbury's though I just had to pop into the skin care isle. I've been having some dry skin issues, and a few people have pointed it out. Joshua, on a few occasions touched my forehead and scratched the little dry flakes just above the inbetween of my eyebrows. Thanks boyfriend for pointing out my the skincare issues i'm battling very emotionally right now, jokes. So I went to find a nice exfoliator that I can use to get rid of my flakes, even though I was starting to like them to be honest. Loved the way it made the fact I was wearing foundation 10 times more obvious and I didn't look like I just had genuinely amazing skin. 

I did find the L'Oréal Skin Perfection Radiance Revealing Gentle Exfoliator which was on offer for £3 and I thought to myself bargain!! No flakes for a mere three quid, into the basket it went. But I just found it in Boots for £2 on offer so maybe I was fooled a little. Its designed for dull skin, so i'm hoping it will do wonderful things to my over worked, over colleged skin. Probably not, I didn't just spend £100 in SpaceNk. If it does get rid of the flakes, I guess I can let that bit go though. 

 Also grabbed a card and some chocolates for my mom who recently passed her last assignment on her uni course, and officially starts her new job next month. Go momma! While I was buying the good luck card there was a man in the way and i'm too awkward to say anything so I just browsed the magazines while I waited for him to choose his anniversary card. (Happy anniversary btdubz.) I ended up throwing Cosmo in my basket and I've been reading it on the 45 minute bus journey to college and it was the best pound I ever spent, not even twitter can keep me entertained for that bloody long. I bought Cosmo because I haven't seen Company on the shelves in ages, I used to always buy Company, I had every issue for a year, and reading that inspired me to aspire to a career in fashion media so as you can imagine i'm extremely sad its disappeared.

As it's a Tuesday, and everyone knows nothing exciting happens on a mid-week evening when your boyfriend just wants his dinner and a bath, and the tv is shite. So me, the last pages of Cosmo and my tubs of Ben and Jerry's (£2.50 everyone!!!! Except the core one) will sit watching x-factor at home. Which I am indeed watching right now whilst I write this, why so moody Simon? 

I haven't watched x-factor yet because Saturday I worked from 3 in the afternoon till 11 at night, and then volunteered to work Monday from 6 am (yeah, finished at 11pm had to get up 5am) to 4pm so I didn't want to watch it when I got home Sunday and I spent the rest of Monday passed out. I can imagine Josh was not happy that as soon as I got into bed I just dribbled on his shoulder all night until 6 the next morning. 

SO yeah, that's my evening. Please tell me that I am not the only one who goes into Sainsbury's for one thing and comes out with fifty? And please say that i'm not the only working crazy hours at work to pay for my holiday? Make me feel sane! 

15 Thoughts Every Girl has on their Period.

I can't be the only one who dreads those five or so days when mother nature gifts you with cramps and blood, oh the joys. But hey it's okay, I know i'm not pregnant! Here's a post I fancied writing after mother nature's last visit, the weeks thoughts always seem to sway the same way and i'm not the only one who thinks this! 

1. I'm fat.

2. But I need a 1,000 square bar of dairy milk, and a 20" pizza... For myself.

3. What if I've leaked?

4. Maybe I'm depressed... Why else would I be crying over a jelly baby.

5. Can you smell it? I can smell it... What if the guy next to me can smell it.

6. I wonder if anyone's noticed that i've took my bag with me all ten times I visited this loos in the past hour.

7. Can the person in the cubicle hear me opening this pad? Omg. Everyone's going to know that I have what every other person in this toilet probably has.. A god damn period. I better open it slowly... Slowly!

8. I finally get a week off of sex... So why the hell do I want it ten times more than usual?!

9. If I just curl up on the sofa and hide under my duvet with just enough space to stick my head out and watch gossip girl all week will anyone actually notice, because I can't move with these knives ripping up my stomach???

10. Why oh why do pads give such bad wedgies.

11. Why oh why do the strings of your tampons hang just low enough to get covered in pee, is it not bad enough that I have to continuously bleed out of my nether regions for a whole week?

12. It's a netflix night... Certainly no chill, is that his hand going lower, and lower. What if he goes too low and realises my knickers are bigger than Bridget Jones'.

13. Omg, I've leaked.

14. Why do periods cost so much? I don't usually have to pay to keep myself from uncontrollably bleeding from down there, and why did I just waste £20 on chocolate alone.

15. I'm fat.

Funny story that links to number 3+13 I have a friend who used to make me look at her ass every five minutes because she thought she had leaked, and this afternoon I was walking ahead of my friends when one of them asked if I "needed a pad?" I can just imagine how my face looked by the way they quickly backtracked while laughing their asses off. Not funny girlies. Not funny. 

( okay its a little funny)

Leave me a comment below with the thoughts you get thinking during 'that time' and if you are ever constantly thinking what i'm thinking! Periods are pretty gross, but we all have them (according to the stats about who reads this blog) and its about time we stopped shying away from them! 

Baby, its cold outside.

I don't know if you've noticed this, but its Autumn! It's arrived and when I got home from college today, I was reminded of this as I kicked the leaves walking up my driveway. As you can see from the picture, its covered in leaves which really confuses me since there's no trees on my driveway?

I started thinking about all the things about Autumn that really excited, I came up with a little list for the blogities and then ended up scrolling through pages and pages of autumnal clothes on the internet. Not good for my bank account, but hey its payday tomorrow! And students get 20% off in New Look, who could resist?

Since we're on the subject of clothes, I looooooove slipping into silky black tights with cute cotton dresses and ankle booties. It keeps me warm, and I always feel so fabulous when I'm wearing a dress! I love cardigans as well, I have a few that I really love and when its warm but there's a windy chill in the afternoons cardigans are perfect. Burgundy. All my clothes are black/grey or a deep burgundy red this time of year. My particular favourites include a loose cardigan (shocker) and chunky infinity scarf. Also knit?? Does anyone else grow a knit infatuation around these months? Knitted scarfs, knitted jumpers, knitted cardigans, knitted beanies! Give me all the knit...

I bought a hot chocolate this morning, and enjoyed every minute of it. As the mornings and evenings get darker and colder, I couldn't think of anything better than a hot chocolate to keep my fingers and my insides from freezing! I just can't wait till Starbucks and Costa finally bring out their seasonal drinks! They're always my favourite.

I secretly love it as it gets darker and as long as i'm indoors, I love the rain! It always feels so gloomy when its dark and rainy so when you're in your classroom/bus/bed and its dark and rainy outside everything just seems cosier inside!

And to make it even cosier inside, winter is the time the fireplace comes on! I love sitting in front of the fire I love the heat on my back. Because its so cold during these months its time for long cuddles under a thick duvet with the person you love hiding away from the world toastier than ever. The sticky skin of summer really ruins a good cuddle, and makes it hard to sleep. The deeper we get into the end of the year though the easier it is to have a cosy nights sleep.

Then if that wasn't enough, there's the festivities! Halloween has become something I'm really excited for... mainly because it means drinking and eating sweets. My favourite is bonfire night though, I have a thing for flames! Big bonfires, and fireworks and hot dogs and burgers from stands! What could be better?

Tell me what you love about Autumn in the comments! 

I Smell Autumn

I spent most of (all of) today cuddled up in crisp fresh white sheets as rain pounded the pavements outside, its been getting so col recently, the scarves, the booties, my favourite coat. They've all come out of hiding, and the heating bill is set to rocket. To accompany my lazy day  I lit a candle for the first time in forever, I don't like candles in the summer, but in the colder months I love the flame and the warm smell that makes the place so cosy! This particular candle smells like a rich peppery pomegranate (does that even make sense?), if the scent wasn't good enough alone its such a beautiful candle. Its so dark that even though its a very odd iridescent purple it looks black! The cute glass jar, the rope around the edge and the card label all add to make the candle not just a great smell but beautiful decor as well.

On another note, Autumn is settling in. I revamped the blog a little, went for a new header and colour. I've decided to go back to doing beauty reviews and fashion posts, along with little posts about my day. So here's to Autumn! Hopefully more blogging, and lots more candles!