The L Word

Just playing about with candles in Asda

I have a few posts running around in my mind right now, all are stories or musings involving Josh and eventually I gave up on something different and just decided to write all I wanted to whether it was mushy or funny or boring because this is my blog and he's my boyfriend so I say I can. *Disclaimer: post may or may not make you heave. I haven't decided how much mush is going in yet.*

It was the 13th of March I think (I googled it, i'm not super super obsessed.. I promise) Josh and I had made plans to go out for food that night, and he palmed me off the night before because all of a sudden he had managed to get a ticket for Cheltenam horse races and was having a lads day. Not only did I not get many (sober) texts that day, but Josh also made me call his friends phone which is a nightmare because they were all drunk and rowdy and he had not planned how he was getting home which he told me when he got off the minibus back to whereabouts I live (preplanned?). He had been drinking since probably 9 am that morning and had found himself back in the pub already. Basically he wanted to come to mine because he could get a lift (hmm) and not have to pay £30 for a taxi. I agreed.

He finally gets to mine and its 11pm, dropped off by his mates girlfriend who he tricked into dropping him off cheeky bugger although she does only live a few minutes away from me. He comes up stairs and kneels on the floor beside my bed looking all daydreamy (his expression not his appearance) and he tells me about his day. He won't get into bed because he wants to go downstairs and smoke (dirty habit which he has recently quit) before he does.

So he's kneeling next to my bed and holding my hands rambling and repeating himself about all the beer he drunk *Disclaimer 2: Whilst he may not always drink responsibly he is old enough* and all the shouting and betting he did. Right now he sounds like a right bloody catch, and its gets better. When he casually says that they also ended up in a strip club. There go my walls, straight up. An eyebrow raise. Crossed arms. He nearly ended up sleeping on the floor. He continued with but I didn't do anything, I only went in because everyone else did.

"If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you Joshua?"

Yeah I was that person. We had probably only been "official" for about four months, and this is the first time he was telling me something like this and I got a bit pissy. In the end I just said yeah okay whatever and changed the subject, because he was drunk and I couldn't be bothered getting into all that and I feel like if he did do anything he was that drunk he would have ended up telling me anyway.

The rambling carried on and then we went downstairs, and came back up and Josh was finally ready to jump into bed. You know what boys are like when they're drunk, I knew why Josh didn't get a taxi home. But surprisingly we just cuddled whilst Josh continued to talk and talk and talk.

I don't have a TV in my room and we normally watch a film on the iPad. but I was enjoying just listening to him talk too much.

Then it happened.

I still remember it quite well seven or so months later. Josh had his arm around me and we were lying down in bed and I was facing him and he said "I want to tell you something, but i can't because i'm drunk". And you never say that to me. Straight away i'm itching to know, and annoying him.

"Tell me, tell me. Josh! Tell me!"

He said something like I don't want to say it in case you think i don't mean it because i've been drinking, but i've wanted to say it for awhile I just didn't know what the right time would be. And I pushed it more, I knew what was coming. I had a pretty good idea of what he was going to say and that I felt the same way.

There had been too many times when we would be laughing or talking for ages and we would both just stop and a short burst of eye contact with big grins gave me butterflies and a squeeze in my heart like the way it did when he put his hand on my leg in the car and would squeeze it just reminding me he's there. Or when he would text me saying good morning gorgeous or how's your day babe. The same skipped heart beat I felt when I saw him after a long week and he would be at my door smelling like Paco Roban (which quickly became my favourite smell) and a big grin found its way on my face.

After a while I dropped it, and we just cuddled in silence. Then very quietly he said and his voice even cracked halfway through, either from nerves or just because he throat had dried up in the silence.

"I love you"

SO there you go, the story of the night my boyfriend told me he loved me. Whilst drunk. After telling me he had  been to a strip club. He's a keeper. No, honestly he is, i'm stopping it here because no one needs a cringy reply from me. I did say it back though, and at least one of us was sober.

I would love to hear, if your L word experiences have been romantic? Weird? Leave a comment!