The L Word

Just playing about with candles in Asda

I have a few posts running around in my mind right now, all are stories or musings involving Josh and eventually I gave up on something different and just decided to write all I wanted to whether it was mushy or funny or boring because this is my blog and he's my boyfriend so I say I can. *Disclaimer: post may or may not make you heave. I haven't decided how much mush is going in yet.*

It was the 13th of March I think (I googled it, i'm not super super obsessed.. I promise) Josh and I had made plans to go out for food that night, and he palmed me off the night before because all of a sudden he had managed to get a ticket for Cheltenam horse races and was having a lads day. Not only did I not get many (sober) texts that day, but Josh also made me call his friends phone which is a nightmare because they were all drunk and rowdy and he had not planned how he was getting home which he told me when he got off the minibus back to whereabouts I live (preplanned?). He had been drinking since probably 9 am that morning and had found himself back in the pub already. Basically he wanted to come to mine because he could get a lift (hmm) and not have to pay £30 for a taxi. I agreed.

He finally gets to mine and its 11pm, dropped off by his mates girlfriend who he tricked into dropping him off cheeky bugger although she does only live a few minutes away from me. He comes up stairs and kneels on the floor beside my bed looking all daydreamy (his expression not his appearance) and he tells me about his day. He won't get into bed because he wants to go downstairs and smoke (dirty habit which he has recently quit) before he does.

So he's kneeling next to my bed and holding my hands rambling and repeating himself about all the beer he drunk *Disclaimer 2: Whilst he may not always drink responsibly he is old enough* and all the shouting and betting he did. Right now he sounds like a right bloody catch, and its gets better. When he casually says that they also ended up in a strip club. There go my walls, straight up. An eyebrow raise. Crossed arms. He nearly ended up sleeping on the floor. He continued with but I didn't do anything, I only went in because everyone else did.

"If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you Joshua?"

Yeah I was that person. We had probably only been "official" for about four months, and this is the first time he was telling me something like this and I got a bit pissy. In the end I just said yeah okay whatever and changed the subject, because he was drunk and I couldn't be bothered getting into all that and I feel like if he did do anything he was that drunk he would have ended up telling me anyway.

The rambling carried on and then we went downstairs, and came back up and Josh was finally ready to jump into bed. You know what boys are like when they're drunk, I knew why Josh didn't get a taxi home. But surprisingly we just cuddled whilst Josh continued to talk and talk and talk.

I don't have a TV in my room and we normally watch a film on the iPad. but I was enjoying just listening to him talk too much.

Then it happened.

I still remember it quite well seven or so months later. Josh had his arm around me and we were lying down in bed and I was facing him and he said "I want to tell you something, but i can't because i'm drunk". And you never say that to me. Straight away i'm itching to know, and annoying him.

"Tell me, tell me. Josh! Tell me!"

He said something like I don't want to say it in case you think i don't mean it because i've been drinking, but i've wanted to say it for awhile I just didn't know what the right time would be. And I pushed it more, I knew what was coming. I had a pretty good idea of what he was going to say and that I felt the same way.

There had been too many times when we would be laughing or talking for ages and we would both just stop and a short burst of eye contact with big grins gave me butterflies and a squeeze in my heart like the way it did when he put his hand on my leg in the car and would squeeze it just reminding me he's there. Or when he would text me saying good morning gorgeous or how's your day babe. The same skipped heart beat I felt when I saw him after a long week and he would be at my door smelling like Paco Roban (which quickly became my favourite smell) and a big grin found its way on my face.

After a while I dropped it, and we just cuddled in silence. Then very quietly he said and his voice even cracked halfway through, either from nerves or just because he throat had dried up in the silence.

"I love you"

SO there you go, the story of the night my boyfriend told me he loved me. Whilst drunk. After telling me he had  been to a strip club. He's a keeper. No, honestly he is, i'm stopping it here because no one needs a cringy reply from me. I did say it back though, and at least one of us was sober.

I would love to hear, if your L word experiences have been romantic? Weird? Leave a comment!

I only went in for deodorant.

I am in dire need of some new deodorant, so I popped in to Sainsbury's and came out half an hour later and £30 poorer. Umm, how? I don't know to be honest, I did get deodorant so at least I didn't come out without that I guess. While I was wondering that section of Sainsbury's though I just had to pop into the skin care isle. I've been having some dry skin issues, and a few people have pointed it out. Joshua, on a few occasions touched my forehead and scratched the little dry flakes just above the inbetween of my eyebrows. Thanks boyfriend for pointing out my the skincare issues i'm battling very emotionally right now, jokes. So I went to find a nice exfoliator that I can use to get rid of my flakes, even though I was starting to like them to be honest. Loved the way it made the fact I was wearing foundation 10 times more obvious and I didn't look like I just had genuinely amazing skin. 

I did find the L'Oréal Skin Perfection Radiance Revealing Gentle Exfoliator which was on offer for £3 and I thought to myself bargain!! No flakes for a mere three quid, into the basket it went. But I just found it in Boots for £2 on offer so maybe I was fooled a little. Its designed for dull skin, so i'm hoping it will do wonderful things to my over worked, over colleged skin. Probably not, I didn't just spend £100 in SpaceNk. If it does get rid of the flakes, I guess I can let that bit go though. 

 Also grabbed a card and some chocolates for my mom who recently passed her last assignment on her uni course, and officially starts her new job next month. Go momma! While I was buying the good luck card there was a man in the way and i'm too awkward to say anything so I just browsed the magazines while I waited for him to choose his anniversary card. (Happy anniversary btdubz.) I ended up throwing Cosmo in my basket and I've been reading it on the 45 minute bus journey to college and it was the best pound I ever spent, not even twitter can keep me entertained for that bloody long. I bought Cosmo because I haven't seen Company on the shelves in ages, I used to always buy Company, I had every issue for a year, and reading that inspired me to aspire to a career in fashion media so as you can imagine i'm extremely sad its disappeared.

As it's a Tuesday, and everyone knows nothing exciting happens on a mid-week evening when your boyfriend just wants his dinner and a bath, and the tv is shite. So me, the last pages of Cosmo and my tubs of Ben and Jerry's (£2.50 everyone!!!! Except the core one) will sit watching x-factor at home. Which I am indeed watching right now whilst I write this, why so moody Simon? 

I haven't watched x-factor yet because Saturday I worked from 3 in the afternoon till 11 at night, and then volunteered to work Monday from 6 am (yeah, finished at 11pm had to get up 5am) to 4pm so I didn't want to watch it when I got home Sunday and I spent the rest of Monday passed out. I can imagine Josh was not happy that as soon as I got into bed I just dribbled on his shoulder all night until 6 the next morning. 

SO yeah, that's my evening. Please tell me that I am not the only one who goes into Sainsbury's for one thing and comes out with fifty? And please say that i'm not the only working crazy hours at work to pay for my holiday? Make me feel sane! 

15 Thoughts Every Girl has on their Period.

I can't be the only one who dreads those five or so days when mother nature gifts you with cramps and blood, oh the joys. But hey it's okay, I know i'm not pregnant! Here's a post I fancied writing after mother nature's last visit, the weeks thoughts always seem to sway the same way and i'm not the only one who thinks this! 

1. I'm fat.

2. But I need a 1,000 square bar of dairy milk, and a 20" pizza... For myself.

3. What if I've leaked?

4. Maybe I'm depressed... Why else would I be crying over a jelly baby.

5. Can you smell it? I can smell it... What if the guy next to me can smell it.

6. I wonder if anyone's noticed that i've took my bag with me all ten times I visited this loos in the past hour.

7. Can the person in the cubicle hear me opening this pad? Omg. Everyone's going to know that I have what every other person in this toilet probably has.. A god damn period. I better open it slowly... Slowly!

8. I finally get a week off of sex... So why the hell do I want it ten times more than usual?!

9. If I just curl up on the sofa and hide under my duvet with just enough space to stick my head out and watch gossip girl all week will anyone actually notice, because I can't move with these knives ripping up my stomach???

10. Why oh why do pads give such bad wedgies.

11. Why oh why do the strings of your tampons hang just low enough to get covered in pee, is it not bad enough that I have to continuously bleed out of my nether regions for a whole week?

12. It's a netflix night... Certainly no chill, is that his hand going lower, and lower. What if he goes too low and realises my knickers are bigger than Bridget Jones'.

13. Omg, I've leaked.

14. Why do periods cost so much? I don't usually have to pay to keep myself from uncontrollably bleeding from down there, and why did I just waste £20 on chocolate alone.

15. I'm fat.

Funny story that links to number 3+13 I have a friend who used to make me look at her ass every five minutes because she thought she had leaked, and this afternoon I was walking ahead of my friends when one of them asked if I "needed a pad?" I can just imagine how my face looked by the way they quickly backtracked while laughing their asses off. Not funny girlies. Not funny. 

( okay its a little funny)

Leave me a comment below with the thoughts you get thinking during 'that time' and if you are ever constantly thinking what i'm thinking! Periods are pretty gross, but we all have them (according to the stats about who reads this blog) and its about time we stopped shying away from them! 

Baby, its cold outside.

I don't know if you've noticed this, but its Autumn! It's arrived and when I got home from college today, I was reminded of this as I kicked the leaves walking up my driveway. As you can see from the picture, its covered in leaves which really confuses me since there's no trees on my driveway?

I started thinking about all the things about Autumn that really excited, I came up with a little list for the blogities and then ended up scrolling through pages and pages of autumnal clothes on the internet. Not good for my bank account, but hey its payday tomorrow! And students get 20% off in New Look, who could resist?

Since we're on the subject of clothes, I looooooove slipping into silky black tights with cute cotton dresses and ankle booties. It keeps me warm, and I always feel so fabulous when I'm wearing a dress! I love cardigans as well, I have a few that I really love and when its warm but there's a windy chill in the afternoons cardigans are perfect. Burgundy. All my clothes are black/grey or a deep burgundy red this time of year. My particular favourites include a loose cardigan (shocker) and chunky infinity scarf. Also knit?? Does anyone else grow a knit infatuation around these months? Knitted scarfs, knitted jumpers, knitted cardigans, knitted beanies! Give me all the knit...

I bought a hot chocolate this morning, and enjoyed every minute of it. As the mornings and evenings get darker and colder, I couldn't think of anything better than a hot chocolate to keep my fingers and my insides from freezing! I just can't wait till Starbucks and Costa finally bring out their seasonal drinks! They're always my favourite.

I secretly love it as it gets darker and as long as i'm indoors, I love the rain! It always feels so gloomy when its dark and rainy so when you're in your classroom/bus/bed and its dark and rainy outside everything just seems cosier inside!

And to make it even cosier inside, winter is the time the fireplace comes on! I love sitting in front of the fire I love the heat on my back. Because its so cold during these months its time for long cuddles under a thick duvet with the person you love hiding away from the world toastier than ever. The sticky skin of summer really ruins a good cuddle, and makes it hard to sleep. The deeper we get into the end of the year though the easier it is to have a cosy nights sleep.

Then if that wasn't enough, there's the festivities! Halloween has become something I'm really excited for... mainly because it means drinking and eating sweets. My favourite is bonfire night though, I have a thing for flames! Big bonfires, and fireworks and hot dogs and burgers from stands! What could be better?

Tell me what you love about Autumn in the comments! 

I Smell Autumn

I spent most of (all of) today cuddled up in crisp fresh white sheets as rain pounded the pavements outside, its been getting so col recently, the scarves, the booties, my favourite coat. They've all come out of hiding, and the heating bill is set to rocket. To accompany my lazy day  I lit a candle for the first time in forever, I don't like candles in the summer, but in the colder months I love the flame and the warm smell that makes the place so cosy! This particular candle smells like a rich peppery pomegranate (does that even make sense?), if the scent wasn't good enough alone its such a beautiful candle. Its so dark that even though its a very odd iridescent purple it looks black! The cute glass jar, the rope around the edge and the card label all add to make the candle not just a great smell but beautiful decor as well.

On another note, Autumn is settling in. I revamped the blog a little, went for a new header and colour. I've decided to go back to doing beauty reviews and fashion posts, along with little posts about my day. So here's to Autumn! Hopefully more blogging, and lots more candles!

A Winchester Weekend

Its that time of year again, back to college, yay.. Luckily for me the weekend before I went back Josh and I managed to slip away for the weekend. I had to go down to a quaint little place called Winchester to look at a university, and we thought we may as well go down on the Friday and get some time away from Birmingham. We drove down early Friday morning and went straight to McDonald's for breakfast which landed us in the city centre. You could take me anywhere and trust me I would end up in maccies. 

The city centre was a lot better than I thought it would be, considering the old beautiful buildings I didn't have high expectations for the shopping. There was however a Primark and a New Look which are my two favourite places along with a lot of other more designer shops. Let's just say I know where I'll be spending my student loans. Kidding. Kidding. 

We didn't actually do any shopping, we just took a walk around the city. When we were trying to find the McDonalds (which was actually just round the corner) a lovely man asked us if we needed any help, it was very kind. I can't remember the last time anybody even smiled at me in Birmingham's city centre, unless they are trying to get me to buy some sort of incense stick or give money to their charity. 

After a lovely breakfast, you can never beat a sausage and egg mcmuffin! We headed to Marwell zoo, i've been begging Josh to take me to the zoo for ageees and we almost went to Bristol zoo the other weekend but had to cancel due to work issues. 

The zoo was nice, the first half was really good and I was captivated by the giraffes, they were great! We also saw penguins and lions and rhinos, I really enjoyed it. The second half was a bit boring as it was mostly birds and stuff but the avairys had two or three birds in. 

Marwell house was a beautiful sight, and the weather was nice so we stopped and chilled on the green basking in the sun for a bit. Before we left the zoo Josh bought me a new friend, I named him Ralph. 

After the zoo we headed back to the hotel to check in and see what it was like, the hotel was called De Vere Venues New Place and it was really lovely. There was a big manor house that held conferences and weddings i assume and thats where the resturant and the bar (josh's favourite) was aswell. Then the actual rooms were seperate to that building in kind of what I would describe as two story chalets. It was kind of weird and cute as well. Our room had a bath which I was excited about and we basically didn't bother much in the room, we dumped our stuff and went swimming! Luckily for us to get to the pool all we had to do was go two floors down the stairs situated right outside our room and there it was! 

We weren't swimming for long before I got tired and we headed back upstairs, showered and I sneaked in a nap! I'm glad I did though, because that evening we went on a sunset walk thats like a self guided tour around the city. We timed it well and just as we had trekked all the hills (and i'm telling you Winchester is full of them) the sun was setting. Since I am a terrible planner the tourist office was closed when we went so Josh had to google the walk on his phone and he was telling me all about as we passed them but I wasn't really listening whoops. 

It was really lovely to spend some time together on a nice walk, to see the sun set, to picnic in the Abbey gardens, and to explore a place we had never seen before. We even stopped when we spotted a playground and had a little swing like kids. It was a lovely evening. 

We had bought lots of munchies and alcohol from Sainsburys when we got the picnic stuff that we had stashed in the car when we had our walk, and we also picked up some bubble bath! When we finally got back to the hotel I had a lovely bath and snuggles along with some brownies and a glass of wine, the whole day was pretty close to perfect. We also had a tv in our room so we managed to catch 8 out of 10 cats does countdown as well! 

We were once again up early Saturday morning, we got a lovely full english breakfast we tea, orange juice and croissants, I ate like a queen! Then we were off to The University of Winchester, it was great to see the place i'd been hoping to study at for so long and the day was so informative and exciting! When we walked from campus to campus, uphill, downhill, uphill, Josh was not a happy bunny and more than once asked if we could just go to the pub and watch the football, but I thoroughly enjoyed it! 

We also made a quick stop into Southhampton afterwards as Josh wanted to take a look at the marina but we weren't there for very long. 

We mostly stayed in the hotel that evening, we swam a lot, we jaccuzied and we saunaed. It was great. To be honest though i'm not a massive fan of the sauna or the jacuzzi but I loved just messing about in the swimming pool with  Josh, making him swim with me on his back and throw me into the water. It was the most carefree I have felt in ages. 

We ate at a cute little pub called Samuels Rest which was a small walk from the hotel, I had delicious fish and chips and Josh had ribs. There was so much food we could barely eat it all! It was a nice walk and a nice meal finished with another lovely night in the hotel. 

Sadly we left at about ten sunday morning after another amazing hotel breakfast, and headed back to Josh's and watched netflix all day. 

I haven't had such an amazing weekend in a long long time. Just to spend so much time with someone who means so much to me, the long drives, the walks and the time we got just to ourselves made the perfect weekend and I'll be gushing about it for ages. Rome is in the horizons though for our anniversiary and I can't wait! 

Parties, Pizza and Football!

Summer is very much coming to a close, i'm back in college briefly next week and it hits full force on the 8th.I'm itching to get back into routine and get this year started but I also know i'm going to miss the holidays deeply. I just want to lie in bed all day watching netflix occasionally moving to make food or do something fun. The last week or so has been a good run, so for today's blog post I thought we could have a good picture heavy recap post. So grab a coffee or a tea and read my rambling on about the past week or so!

I've been learning to drive! You might want to keep off the roads haha, but in all seriousness I actually really enjoy driving, I have only done about four hours so far but I am totally loving it. My instructor says my clutch control and my positioning is good for how many lessons i've had, but he's had to grab the wheel a few times and put my indicator on for me once or twice. Whoops.

I also picked up my AS level results which were not too great, my english teacher wants me to get my paper remarked but its going to cost me £50 which is a bit off putting, i'm going to do it anyway though. To celebrate I opened a bottle of champagne and ordered pizza with my close friends, then celebrated with a few more at the weekend. Speaking of school, I also enrolled into year 13, your girl gets to finish her A levels!

I've had a good few nights/days this week with family and friends. I stopped at my aunts in the week and we had a good goss as well as making some delicious red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting! I also visited my cousins and we ended up going to Asda and I bought myself some flowers and tried a cheeseburger pizza, it was actually delicious. Then Thursday I went to pizza hut with the girls and we had a pepperoni pizza with stuffed crust and a salted caramel cookie dough desert that was literally heaven. 

The weekend was crazy and very troublesome for me, it passed so quickly and was so awful yet it had its good moments. Friday night was Aimee's birthday so we went round to hers and beforehand met up in the park where we messed about on the swings and I felt like I was twelve again which was nice. 

Then after work on Saturday Charlie and Abbie put me up for the night which we spent eating pizza and chocolate, watching netflix, and gossiping till four am. After everything that else that happened Friday and Saturday it was nice to know that true friends are out there and will always be there for you! 

Charlie works at thorntons so she bought me a gift to cheer me up!

Sunday morning before work I went to the tea rooms with Josh and we talked and drank tea, all the weekends problems came to an end Sunday afternoon just before I started my shift at work and in put me in an amazing mood. To top it off I spent Sunday night at Abbie's which was nice to chat after work, and Monday night I had a lovely netflix night with Josh which led to me agreeing to see the football with him on Tuesday... 

That actually wasn't too bad we met up at a pub with some others beforehand for a drink and had to walk what seemed like ages to get to the blues ground, it was cold and wet because it was raining and i'm not really a big fan of football so I wasn't really interested in the game. When we were going into the ground I couldn't get through the turnstile and it was so embarrassing, there were loads of people there and Josh and another steward just watched me struggle. Josh even laughed! But it was a nice night and I got to see my dad as well who works as a steward there. Maybe i'll go to another one.. maybe not. The chants were quite entertaining but I couldn't understand why they were chanting against the Villa??? There is obviously some deep rooted issue there, since they weren't playing them. I did feel bad for a player who fell over like three times, that's probably more embarrassing than my turnstile issues! Blues won against Gillingham 2-0 which meant Josh was a happy bunny and we got McDonalds, yes!