Monday, 12 October 2015

15 Thoughts Every Girl has on their Period.

I can't be the only one who dreads those five or so days when mother nature gifts you with cramps and blood, oh the joys. But hey it's okay, I know i'm not pregnant! Here's a post I fancied writing after mother nature's last visit, the weeks thoughts always seem to sway the same way and i'm not the only one who thinks this! 

1. I'm fat.

2. But I need a 1,000 square bar of dairy milk, and a 20" pizza... For myself.

3. What if I've leaked?

4. Maybe I'm depressed... Why else would I be crying over a jelly baby.

5. Can you smell it? I can smell it... What if the guy next to me can smell it.

6. I wonder if anyone's noticed that i've took my bag with me all ten times I visited this loos in the past hour.

7. Can the person in the cubicle hear me opening this pad? Omg. Everyone's going to know that I have what every other person in this toilet probably has.. A god damn period. I better open it slowly... Slowly!

8. I finally get a week off of sex... So why the hell do I want it ten times more than usual?!

9. If I just curl up on the sofa and hide under my duvet with just enough space to stick my head out and watch gossip girl all week will anyone actually notice, because I can't move with these knives ripping up my stomach???

10. Why oh why do pads give such bad wedgies.

11. Why oh why do the strings of your tampons hang just low enough to get covered in pee, is it not bad enough that I have to continuously bleed out of my nether regions for a whole week?

12. It's a netflix night... Certainly no chill, is that his hand going lower, and lower. What if he goes too low and realises my knickers are bigger than Bridget Jones'.

13. Omg, I've leaked.

14. Why do periods cost so much? I don't usually have to pay to keep myself from uncontrollably bleeding from down there, and why did I just waste £20 on chocolate alone.

15. I'm fat.

Funny story that links to number 3+13 I have a friend who used to make me look at her ass every five minutes because she thought she had leaked, and this afternoon I was walking ahead of my friends when one of them asked if I "needed a pad?" I can just imagine how my face looked by the way they quickly backtracked while laughing their asses off. Not funny girlies. Not funny. 

( okay its a little funny)

Leave me a comment below with the thoughts you get thinking during 'that time' and if you are ever constantly thinking what i'm thinking! Periods are pretty gross, but we all have them (according to the stats about who reads this blog) and its about time we stopped shying away from them! 

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